Audrizzle

Mmmm. Sat 2/3/07 - 11:45 PM
Mmmmm... I'm freakin' exhausted. I can't say how funny I think it is that there is a drug called Klonopin, it just ... looking at the word, it looks so stupid, like the name of a dumb horror movie or something. haha, whatevs.

Soooo. This has been an OK week. Didn't get a job. Didn't call that one guy I wanted to call about the job. Didn't even look for a job.
Did get my car though. Which is good, very good. Actually, the car itself is just mediocre.

Ahhh, amanda. The keyword is moderation. I just ate (well, over the period of the entire day) a whole bag of pizza goldfish. They were a dollar! I gave a few away, though.
But anyway. Yeah, today was exhausting. I got probably 5 or 6 hours of sleep... which, thinking to times past, is not a bad amount of sleep to get. but still. I'm extra tired.

Saturday I got up at like 8 and took a shower and got dressed (I usually never take showers before breakfast, especially on weekends) and then had breakfast then felt pressured to do something, and I was really anxious already. at 9:30 i left, drove to southbury and ...

Persistance is a good word for me too.

Anyway. Southbury. Made it to a small plaza and went into a couple stores and bought a couple things. I went into the gap wearing some jeans I bought there in 2002 (and before yesterday the best fitting pants I had) and the jeans I left with were 2 sizes smaller. As in, 4 numbers, 2 sizes. I feel kind of bad because there are so many people with weight issues and stuff and I'm bragging, but you know what, I'm doing it right, and I can be proud of that.

Also I went to the K mart...
...

OK. all these incomplete sentences and thoughts are just me apple-tabbing and getting caught up in other applications and doing other shit and forgetting about writing.

EEEGH. Well while I'm here I'll explain the photos:
Thursday we went to this boardwalk which was really really cool. It was frozen and people were ice fishing and we got to walk over the ice and it was just the coolest looking thing ever. all these bubbles had frozen underneath the surface and it was superb. Anyway, I guess the rest of these pictures are pretty self explanatory. Enjoy the animated gif at the end! I spent like freakin' 4 hours making it!



















Anyway. I guess my next major thing is to try and get a job. Which will be... interesting. I got my car on wednesday and now I keep coming up with excuses for not calling or applying & stuff like "Oh, well I don't have any non-sneakers and I don't want to look unprofessional" or "Oh well I don't know when I'll be able to schedule an interview so I can't call..." or "Oh, I don't know if my resume is any good and I don't have a printer and I don't think they'll let me use the one in the office and I don't want to pay 15 cents to print it at the library" or "Well I don't have my social security card so I won't be able to even get hired." That last one is true. But I can start the search process at least. AND I WILL!

Annnnnyway.
In general I've been feeling okay. A little trouble focusing (or focusing on important things anyway) and I'm making myself sick with anxiety, but other than that I'm doing good. Still letting myself be affected. But I no longer neglect to do things out of fear of someone getting angry at me (things that need to be done, I mean, like reminding someone to do their chore). I guess it's good to have a little bit of fear, though, so I can think "How can I tell this person that they need to do x in a way that won't make me come across as a jerk?" Some people will always respond like I'm being a jerk. But it's stupid, though, because chores have to be done, and people forget. Lord knows I do. I forgot to unload the dishwasher last night and I feel like a total jackass.

I guess there isn't much else to say. I feel nauseous and I need to eat something, so I will do that now.